Your emotions are your superpower

What would happen if you paid attention to your emotions like they were a superpower?

I learned as a young child to suppress my emotions in different ways. I became a master of distraction through busyness (a working progress!). I mistook people-pleasing for connection, and relief that it made me acceptable to others. I began drinking at a young age and often felt angry which came out as meanness toward others so I felt in control. Overall, I just wanted some attention - someone to care about my needs.

I always thought I was good at expressing myself because I wasn’t afraid to show people how I felt. I was comfortable with anger, brashness, a verbal punch-in-the-face “f*ck you” if someone pissed me off. And yet, if I was hurt, I was always ‘fine’, always optimistic, always okay. A true M-A-S-T-E-R of distraction, avoidance and suppression.

Thankfully I have grown and today, I support people in clinic everyday to become aware of their emotions and feelings. You have to ‘name it to tame it’ (ref. Dr Daniel Siegel) ‘label it to regulate it’ (ref Prof. Mark Brakett).

Labeling emotions accurately helps us to increase self-awareness.

Your emotions show up in your body first. If you are the type of person who is always in your head, practising where your emotions show up in your body helps you to feel more balanced and grounded. In time, you will become more

• self-aware

• self-regulated

• increase in social awareness

• increase in social skills

If this feels foreign, uncomfortable, or silly, try and imagine what life would be like if you could pay attention to your emotions as though they were an innocent child standing in front of you. Non-judgemental. Needing your help. Could you accept what they’re saying as valid and be curious enough to ask, “Hey, what are you trying to tell me?”.

Practical exercise:

What emotion has felt most alive for you recently? Where does it sit in your body? Does it have a shape, a colour, an intensity? Is it soft or hard? What size is it? Does it fill your whole body, or is it isolated to one area?

For me, anger feels like fiery heat around my chest, neck, mouth, cheeks, and forehead, the back of my neck and the top of my head. It feels like a hot shield protecting me. That makes sense, because I notice anger arises when a core value of mine is being compromised and needs protecting.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

The Harvard School of Education has a worksheet that can be found in this article called How Do Emotions Show Up in Your Body?

I love Professor Mark Bracketts book Permission to Feel and Free How We Feel App. (The app has a check-in section that allows us to name how we feel and where it is in your body.)

Channelling our emotions in healthy ways helps us move out of (in my case) that reactive “f*ck you” state and into a more powerful, responsive one. This gives us more choice on how we want to respond. Other benefits:

• Increased intuition

• Trust of self on a deep level

• Stronger boundaries while building close and healthy relationships

Our emotions are messengers from our psyche. They have their own individual wants and needs.

Anger tells us something we value must be protected.

Fear tells is action needs to be taken.

Sadness tells us we need to release and restore.   

Emotions mobilise us into action - to approach or avoid, to fight or retreat.

Our emotions tell us about ourselves and our beliefs, our values, what we learned from our parents and culture, and how we adapted to survive, sometimes through trauma. There is much richness and growth in giving our emotions attention. When we do, we become more compassionate human beings.

In our sessions together, we muscle test the underlying emotions connected to your issues. I hold a safe, compassionate, and non-judgemental space for you to process and make sense of whatever arises.

Emotions are a gift, your superpower - a portal to your soul. They answer questions. They give us direction.

I look forward to exploring your emotions with you.

Love Kirst X

For appointments in person, I am at LiveWell Rozelle on Fridays

Online appointment email kirsten@kirstenjade.com